Answered Prayer

When I thought I couldn't take it anymore, came answered prayer. Let me explain. Taking care of my mom has good days and bad. But the hardest part of this situation is being away from my youngest daughter who just gave birth to Isabelle Faith, 4 weeks ago. She, her husband, and the girls have all been sick with a really bad cold/flu. The baby has pneumonia and has been returning to the doctors office everyday for a shot of antibiotic. The 2 year old has an ear infection along with a really bad cough. My daughter is not only ill, but exhausted. Her husband is trying to work swing shift and be awake enough to help out when he too, has this awful bug. It's a time when a Grandma helps out. But this Grandma, is helping out somewhere else. I was really struggling with my feelings. Feeling resentful that I'm here and not there. Feeling guilty that I was needed and  not being there, letting my daughter down. I could rationalize, hey, all mom's have been in this situation and survived. We all grow up and have to deal with these kinds of things. It builds character. Makes us stronger. Makes us dig deep and develop true grit. All of which is true. 

So many thoughts were in my head.  By the way, I don't always have rational thoughts in my head. My brain kind of has a mind of it's own and sometimes, I wonder  where the heck that thought came from. I actually end up having a conversation with myself about what I'm thinking. Anyway this was an argument. My mind wondered way off subject and ended up dwelling on the fact that GOD must hate me because so many things have gone wrong in my life to bring me to this point. I have nothing, I have no job, I have no money. I have had so many bad things happen to me and my kids. WHY??? I had no answers, it's just life and it sucks. 

I started to feel sick and ended up getting this cold that everyone else had. Not as bad, but enough to make me realize that my distress, made matters worse. I was wallowing in it. 

I went on FB and got an invite to Church. I didn't give my brain time to respond or it would have talked me out of going. I jumped in the shower and dressed as quickly as I could. Got to Church 10 minutes early and was able to spend time with my Nice whom I haven't seen in years. 

When it came to the message, that's when I realized.. The LORD sent it to me. the title of the message was

How to get UNSTUCK.

The Pastor took us through reasons for being stuck. Circumstances being one of them. 

Than to remember GOD'S Faithfulness. He, GOD, always has a plan.

How to refocus, and fix our thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right and pure, and lovely and admirable.

and last 

to respond by obeying and trusting with all your heart and not to depend on your own understanding. (boy does GOD understand my crazy brain)

I need to stay the course, and in time, the LORD'S time.. I'll be unstuck.

Although things didn't end up the way I'd choose.. I realized that it's not my choice I seek, but the LORD'S choice for me, I choose.

I pray that the Holy Spirit will always help me to see life with open eyes and that I will always bend to God's will for my life.  

Thank YOU JESUS, for answered prayers.