MIGRAINE

Migraine today..    UCK!    I hate them. It's never just a headache, but a full  blown migraine, with all the nausea, and light sensitivity that goes with the pain.
I have to get my Imitrex, nasal spray, in my system as soon as I can. Or, it doesn't work. I put an ice pack over the eye where my pain is, and go to sleep. I'm praying that in a few hours, I'll be back to normal!

Answered Prayer

When I thought I couldn't take it anymore, came answered prayer. Let me explain. Taking care of my mom has good days and bad. But the hardest part of this situation is being away from my youngest daughter who just gave birth to Isabelle Faith, 4 weeks ago. She, her husband, and the girls have all been sick with a really bad cold/flu. The baby has pneumonia and has been returning to the doctors office everyday for a shot of antibiotic. The 2 year old has an ear infection along with a really bad cough. My daughter is not only ill, but exhausted. Her husband is trying to work swing shift and be awake enough to help out when he too, has this awful bug. It's a time when a Grandma helps out. But this Grandma, is helping out somewhere else. I was really struggling with my feelings. Feeling resentful that I'm here and not there. Feeling guilty that I was needed and  not being there, letting my daughter down. I could rationalize, hey, all mom's have been in this situation and survived. We all grow up and have to deal with these kinds of things. It builds character. Makes us stronger. Makes us dig deep and develop true grit. All of which is true. 

So many thoughts were in my head.  By the way, I don't always have rational thoughts in my head. My brain kind of has a mind of it's own and sometimes, I wonder  where the heck that thought came from. I actually end up having a conversation with myself about what I'm thinking. Anyway this was an argument. My mind wondered way off subject and ended up dwelling on the fact that GOD must hate me because so many things have gone wrong in my life to bring me to this point. I have nothing, I have no job, I have no money. I have had so many bad things happen to me and my kids. WHY??? I had no answers, it's just life and it sucks. 

I started to feel sick and ended up getting this cold that everyone else had. Not as bad, but enough to make me realize that my distress, made matters worse. I was wallowing in it. 

I went on FB and got an invite to Church. I didn't give my brain time to respond or it would have talked me out of going. I jumped in the shower and dressed as quickly as I could. Got to Church 10 minutes early and was able to spend time with my Nice whom I haven't seen in years. 

When it came to the message, that's when I realized.. The LORD sent it to me. the title of the message was

How to get UNSTUCK.

The Pastor took us through reasons for being stuck. Circumstances being one of them. 

Than to remember GOD'S Faithfulness. He, GOD, always has a plan.

How to refocus, and fix our thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right and pure, and lovely and admirable.

and last 

to respond by obeying and trusting with all your heart and not to depend on your own understanding. (boy does GOD understand my crazy brain)

I need to stay the course, and in time, the LORD'S time.. I'll be unstuck.

Although things didn't end up the way I'd choose.. I realized that it's not my choice I seek, but the LORD'S choice for me, I choose.

I pray that the Holy Spirit will always help me to see life with open eyes and that I will always bend to God's will for my life.  

Thank YOU JESUS, for answered prayers.

Video calling

 Received my first video call last night. It was absolutely amazing!   I loved being able to see my granddaughter sleeping in the arms of her mother. 

They have all been sick. Very sick. Isabelle is only 3 weeks old. Too little to have pneumonia. She has to go to the Dr.'s every 24 hours, for a shot of antibiotics. My 2 year old granddaughter has an ear infection along with this bug. My daughter and son-in-law are both sick and coughing like crazy. 

I wish I could be there for them. It's driving me crazy to be so faraway from them.

I'm  looking forward to many more video calls! 

New GRADDAUGHTER,* Isabelle Faith*

Isabelle Faith

Born, January 15, 2012

The phone rang at 8:00 am, she said, "Mom, my water broke.. pack up and head out". My daughter lives 3 hours away. I was laying in bed trying to ward off a migraine with a cool rag over my eyes, wondering what and how I was going to manage this. I told my daughter I'd be on my way.

I jumped up, went to the kitchen and took my migraine medicine. YUCK, tastes awful! It's a nasal spray and I hate taking it. I went to my Mom's room and woke her up. 

I wandered around, not really doing anything.. trying to figure out where to start.

I have animals to pack for. Mom's cats are left behind, need food for them.

CAMERA, chargers, computer, meds, cloths, Christmas presents and the list went on and on.

Mom started to feel nauseous and nervous. I was really wondering how I was going to manage, driving, unpacking at the ranch, setting animals up to leave them for God knows how long and a sick Mom. She was packing her things, slowly.. but packing. I started to ask her if she wanted to stay with my sister when she said the same thing..

I had her call my sister to discuss the mater and they concluded that staying behind would be better for everyone.

With that decided, things were a little less stressful.

I was on the road to the ranch 2 hrs later..

My drive went well and I managed taking the short cut to the ranch over a dirt road that winds through the mountains to the ranch. I did get sick to my stomach and so did the dogs..

My son-in-law met me at the ranch and helped me unload my truck full of stuff. He helped me to get the animals fed and set up out in the cottage where they could be safe and I put doggie pads on the floor for them to use. Problem was no heat. I have a woodstove, but I wasn't going to start a fire just to have it go out in a few hours... I threw the dirty blankets that they got sick on, on the floor for them to snuggle in the best they could.

All done, we headed to the hospital where my daughter waited for us.

Eighteen hours later, Isabelle was born.

I'm so thankful that I was able to be there when she was born, migraine or not, I did it!

I stayed at the ranch for 2 weeks. Mom did fine with my sister, in fact, she did wonderful! 

Now I'm back, she is back in her routine, not eating, not drinking enough fluid, and watching TV 24/7.. The house is 90 degrees and I can't get her motivated to do anything.

I had to sleep with ear plugs last night her TV was so loud.. when I walked passed this morning to let the dogs out, I couldn't believe how loud it was in her room.. I couldn't stand it, I went and lowered it.

I feel so rejuvenated, recharged having spent time at the ranch with my daughter and 

granddaughters.. It broke my heart to leave them.

I'm looking forward to a visit soon!

I'm blessed in so many ways, GOD is AWESOME!

This break was what I needed to keep me from going insane. Now, I'm able to take a deep breath and do what the LORD has lead me to do, knowing that HE also will provide the means and encouragement that goes along with my mission. I give HIM the GLORY.. Thank YOU, JESUS!