I just let it hit me.

Well, okay, like I said before....
The Pitcher has thrown the ball. It's heading right for you at 90 mpg. 
Do you try to hit it as faraway from you as possible?
 Do you quickly jump out of the way?
 Do you let it hit you and get to walk to first base?
 Hummm..
Well, I've decided to let it hit me. 
I don't like change..  does anyone really?
But, change can be the best thing that can happen.
I have left the comfort of my routine. 
The dependability of my paycheck every two weeks.
The familiar 4 walls that house my total existence.
I choose to be "HERE" in this space and time for my family.
It's it's only been two weeks, but already I can feel the "PANIC" of change start to lift off my shoulders.
I can see the happiness in my Mom when we go shopping at Wal-mart. 
I can hear the relief in my sisters voice when she speaks. 
I can hold on to the strength my daughter holds up, encouraging me, to do whatever I need to do and be free to go be with my Mom.
This is an amazing BLESSING.. 
If in that split second, as the ball was speeding toward me, I could have jumped out of the way and missed....
I'm on first base now.. waiting..
The TEAM.. my family
is bringing me home....


I have no idea how this is all going to play out. After everything that has happened over the last 7 years.. maybe ..
I'm hopeful for the first time that I can begin to trust and let myself feel and live my life again.
I have FAITH ...  
The "LORD" has a plan for me....

Toss and Turn

Okay, yes, it's a little extreme...
but it captures my thoughts EXACTLY!
Rough night last night.
I spent hours tossing and turning I just couldn't
get comfy no mater what I did.
Add 100 zillion thoughts running through my head one after another. I wish I could turn my brain off or at least change the channel to a more interesting one.
Why does this happen at 3 am?
Can't it happen at 10 in the morning after a nice warm cup of coffee that keeps you awake anyway?


So, made it through Mothers Day.
Tough day for me.
I'm "THANKFUL" for my youngest daughter and my granddaughters.
They made the day a happy one.
I don't think I'd survive if it wasn't for them.
I'm just glad it's over.
Though, nights like last night, bring everything back into my head.
So, I guess I really don't avoid anything.
I'll never be rid of memories no mater what so I guess it's better to remember them, deal with it..
and than move on.
This is me, moving on..

I've been painting! Whoohoo!
Love when I spend time doing what I love.
I sold two paintings at the art show!
At the Mare Island Museum Garden Show in Vallejo.
It's so exciting when a painting sells, and Wow, I sold TWO!
I think it helped me to get over my painting block.
It's good to be painting again!
Now, if the sun will come out and stay out, that would be perfect! :)

"WAKE UP"

"THIS", is exactly how I feel!
Been struggling with a migraine for the last few days.. yes, DAYS!  To say, "I HATE THEM", is an understatement. 
I have IMETREX (shot) to take, but it has to be taken before, it's a full blown migraine, to work. I always wait too long and end up suffering for 4 to 5 days of migraine pain.. maybe longer if it switches from one-side of my head to the other. Which.. this time it did.
Grrrrr.
I'm feeling hopeful  that today is the last day. I'm feeling better this morning after a HUGE cup of COFFEE!!!  Caffeine does help!
Okay, so I'm awake now..



Do you ever have those moments where your just plodding away, living life, and before you know it.. it's months later? 
Well, that's where I've been. 
Lost and caught up in life. 
Busy is "good" they say. Don't know who "THEY" are..  The popular opinion I figure. 
But it does happen whether we want it to or not.  
Life gets busy, hectic, chaotic and time seems to fly by.
So, with that said, THAT IS, my excuse for not blogging all this time. 
Being a FULL-TIME caregiver for my Mom is not easy.. 
so, I took a vacation, YEP, a vacation.. 
I went home to the ranch.
Had a great visit and enjoyed being with all my animals and my Granddaughters!
I think I miss the quiet of the country most of all.. So peacefully quiet. The sounds of the birds and wild turkeys. Crickets and frogs at night.. all the stars in the sky. AWESOME!
I did a lot of work outside and boy, did I get sun burned! The sunshine was awesome!
There is NO PLACE LIKE HOME.  :)
SOOOoooooo, here I am, back in the city. UGGGH
My Mom fell while I was away. Didn't hurt anything, thank the LORD. But, my sister decided that MOM needs to get moving instead of staying in bed and making herself weaker and weaker. ( I've been saying this for months now) Mom is loosing her strength and it's not going to be long before she will need to be lifted to do everything that needs to be done in a day. Mom and Sister had a talk.. 
Since I've been back, Mom has gone for a walk everyday up the street and back. Yahoo!
When my Mom fell, It must of sunk in to her stubborn head just how weak she really was becoming. 
Plus, now she is actually going out of the house and into the daylight.. Mom now gets out of bed, puts a hat over her un-brushed head and is ready to go for her walk as soon as she wakes up.. whatever time that is. 
Ahhhh, it is what it is.  A day with Mom is one more blessing to treasure!

Oh, while I was at the ranch, my animals left behind in the care of my daughter and family, always miss me as I do them.. but this time, I packed up my dog Sam  and brought  him with me. 
He is blind since shortly after his birth. Another story for another time. 
It breaks my heart every time I drive away from all of them. If I could, I'd pack them all up and take them with me. 
As it is, I've brought all the ones that need special care or are older.. they would be too much for my daughter to care for.  
I couldn't leave Sam.. 
I know he loves the ranch and it's an adjustment living in the city.. but together.. we will find our way.
He is adjusting WONDERFULLY..
He is happy to be with me and I him.

Until next time.. ENJOY all that life has for you.. grab each moment, it's gone in the blink of an eye.

One of my favorite things to do is read. 

I can totally block out the world around me and get lost in a good book.

I don't hear anything or see anything, just totally absorbed in the story.

I often find, when a book comes to an end.. missing the Characters who have become a part of my days.

I tend to choose books that have a series that continue beyond the first book so that I can continue to be intertwined along with each Character. 

Books:

Help me to unwind.

Pass the time in a constructive way.

Don't bother the person next to me if I'm in a waiting room.

Can go anywhere.

You can share when your finished.

Take me to places I've never have been, but see clearly.

Provoke thought.

ARE LIMITLESS IN THEIR ABILITIES TO TOUCH LIVES.

Pick up one and READ!  :)

Baby NEWS!

My Granddaughter's expression upon hearing the news.....

 "Mommies going to have a Baby!"

Just in time for CHRISTMAS! 

Wait, we just finished Christmas.. 

Oh well, better get started Christmas shopping cause the budget 

will be easier to manage a present a month rather than all at once! 

The family is growing!

:) I'm a HAPPY MEEMA!

Today is day 3 of the after effects of a 2 mile walk workout. I have no extra pain.. just the normal aches that I have most days, even with out exercise. 

Yesterday, day 2, was the worst. Toward the afternoon, I had to take a very hot bath and soak in Epsom salt. Might be why today I feel better.

I'm going to skip my walk this morning because I have a busy day getting ready for my trip to the ranch tomorrow. I hope to get a shorter walk in later this afternoon. At least a 1 mile walk.

I will be on vacation for a week! Yahoo! Still, I'm going to walk. The ranch has lots of trails to enjoy..

Just REMEMBER.. Don't quit, Don't give up.. Keep moving! :) YOU CAN DO IT!

      http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/fibromyalgia/DS00079

Well, this is day 2 of the after effects of increasing my walking routine.
I have extended it from 1 mile every 3 days to 2.
Yesterday, I had pain in both wrists, of all the places to hurt.
No soreness in my legs at all.. which tells me that I've done a good job of building myself up to this point.
I put one my wrist guard on last night.. it helps to keep me from bending my wrist adding to more movement in that area.. which will cause more pain.
This morning, wrists are better.
Still no pain in my legs.
Some minimal pain in my waist area, but not bad at all.
I'm feeling great at this point in the game.
No hospital visit, No increase in pain management at all.
The plan for today is to stretch and maybe some yoga this afternoon, making sure that my muscles are warm.
Hot showers to manage any pain that should pop up..
If all is well, tomorrow I will walk 2 miles! Yahoo!